I keep on falling.....

and M keeps on pushing me down harder. We are going on day three of not speaking. Well, actually we had an argument this morning, on the phone. I really don't know what to do anymore about our situation.
I keep hoping that with time things will get better but they seem to be getting worse and he places all the blame on me. Did I ask for this? Do you really think I am having a party over all this?

I might post more in depth about all this later on, right now it is just too much to type up and I did alot of venting on the phone earlier, so my mind is still going round and round.

I can't take bulling anymore

Someone I love, in my family, has been being bullied for a while. I tried to stay out of it but after the last round of insults and being called gross and numerous other things, that she does not deserve. I fired back and man did it feel good!

Noone should be blamed for their parents mistakes or life choices. Things that happened as we were children and before you knew any of those involved, are none of your damn business. And here I thought you were a good Christian woman. Guess you got mistaken with a judgemental bitch.

Oh, and sorry for all the journalish/emotional blogs lately but this is what my blog is for, for me. A place to vent at times.

Is there a difference

between daycare and babysitting?
I started to watch a few children in my home, in the hopes of getting licensed and starting an in home daycare. And to pick up a few extra quid!

Anyway, I watch an infant from 6am-11pm Saturday and Sunday. When I first agreed to watch said infant(I will name J), I didn't realize that it would be on the weekends and that it was that insane amount of hours in one day. But, I was committed and getting $100 a week for it.

Thursday, I talked to the mum and told her she needed to give me an extra $25 a week. I was going to have to pay another mother to bring my son to his swim lessons every week so I didn't have to load up 5 kids to do it and that extra cash would take care of that. She said it was fine...until she showed up Saturday morning. She went through a big speel on how she was broke, was living in a shelter with her baby, the father wasn't helping, etc. I felt bad for her, naturally, bought the sob story.
She then proceeds to tell me that she quit her job! She is starting a new job though so she still needs me to watch J. I ask why, if she didn't have to work today, she was dropping him off so early. She said she needed to pack up her things at the shelter as she was applying for Section 8 housing and she needs to be out of the shelter quick if she gets it.
She paid me in advance for the weekend so nothing I can say about it so I shrug my shoulders and she says that because of this, I will only have Jacob til 4 at the latest. Great, I thought, I can have a peaceful dinner with the kids, maybe bring them out.
She calls at 3:30 to let me know that she is gonna go out with friends and she swears she will be back by the usual time. I am not happy about this, but since she paid me in advance, how can I say no? I do tell her that her son has been very upset all day, nothing I can do will calm him down and he has gone through 3 outfits so she needed to drop more by.
When she finally gets there, she sees how upset he is, but I guess it doesn't bother her. So off she goes for the night. Well that night also happened to be the night we had a good snowstorm AND my furnace broke. I rang her at 9pm, phone went straight to voicemail, big shock there, to let her know what had happened and that it was rather cold in my house. She needed to come get her child cause I was contemplating going to a friends or my mum's house to stay warm.
She calls me back at 10:45pm to let me know that she just got the message and had too much to drink so she needs to sober up before she can drive to get Jacob! I am fuming at this point. The baby won't stop crying and I am beat!
Long story shorter, I wait until 11:30pm. She is still not there, so I lock the door, turn off the lights and go lay down. The phone rings about 12:30, its her, saying she is outside. I let her in, she starts apologizing. I am not in the mood for arguing and am too tired to discuss that night so I tell her we will discuss it another time. I also tell her to not even think about dropping J off at 6:30 the next day. I need some sleep and she won't be going to work, so there is no need.

When she comes back this weekend, I will need to say something to her, I just don't know what. My mum suggested telling her that I am a daycare, not a babysitter. I will watch her child while she goes to work, not partying. I am unsure what exactly to say, but I know I want it to stick and not be open for discussion or debate.
Thanks to anyone who read this, it felt good to type it out and get it off my mind.

Hmmm

Just upset today. It has become blatanly obvious that I am being snubbed by certain individuals, which is fine, whatever. But why drag others into it? I haven't and won't do that. If I have a disagreement or a grunt with someone, I certainly don't need someone else to back me up on it or be mean to said person to make me feel better.

Bothers me more when I have done nothing, although I am sure that is not what is being tossed about. If all this useless drama is about what I think it is, will just fuel my fire about it more. But I am not gonna resort to high school mentality and gather others on "my side". So grow up already, I don't need this grief.

Amen!

When all the signs point to the obvious

why am I still the sucker who believes. Its not as bad as it sounds, it wasn't meant that way...was it? No, thats crazy talk, she is suppose to be my compadre, me amigo. Could someone really be capable of such a cowardly act?

Grrrr

Am I the only one technologically challenged? I am making my blog rounds, checking out everyones new posts. I am the only one without a pretty holiday background!
And, only because I don't know how to change it or where to find one. I am usually an over achiever, by nature, and I hate not knowing how to do things.

I got me the sniffles

Anyone know anything to help a really bad cold that just won't go away? Usually I don't self medicate, or medicate actually, but hubbys cough is so bad.
This cold came on fast, out of nowhere. Wednesday he had a runny nose and watery eyes, with a cough here and there. Thanksgiving morning he woke up with the chills and a cough so severe, he couldn't sleep. He stayed home for Thanksgiving because he felt so crummy.

We have tried Delsym, Tylenol PMs(to help him sleep) and Nyquil. He went to work today but I know he feels so wiped out and I hate to see him sick. Especially since he is a man, and we all know how they deal with any type of sickness. In other words, he is a whiney baby that is driving me crazy!
Any help would be bueno!

ARGH!

See the toy picture I added? They are called Littlest Pet Shops and they are the crave sweeping the nation! My daughter is on a personal hunt to own every stinking one!

Her Christmas list to Santa is filled with LPS wants. She has over 100 of the colorful little guys already. Its hard to keep track of what she does have and what she doesn't. I do have a small list of ones we haven't acquired yet. Rare or Hot ones like the one in the picture that sell out as soon as they go in stock. It is so frustrating to not be able to find the one thing(s) my kid wants for the holidays.

Tonight, I thought all that changed! I got an email from a friend stating that she found most of the rare LPS sets and sent me a link. I was so excited, I couldn't contain myself or wait til after dinner, which I usually do, to get online. I immediately brought my laptop in my room and sat down to order up a boatload of these things for my girl and my niece.

I click on the link and sure enough, there they all are. But at 6x the price! These little pets go for roughly $4.44 at local stores and on this website, they were up to $26.99 a piece! A mum of four, on a budget, can't afford that!

I think it is unfair that companies can do this. These toys aren't retired, they are still producing them. It is just their way of making more money off us consumers!

Super Wal-mart makes me super mad!

What was I thinking? That I would be able to do most, if not all of my holiday shopping early and online and that would be that?! I was so giddy that I would not have to fight all the crowds for the seasons must have toy or electronic. I could sit in the privacy of my home and mull over everything there was to buy and do it on my schedule, no long lines, no running from store to store in the cold. Easy, right?
Wal-mart didn't want me to have it so easy. Not only have they took my 1 order, that I had shipped to the store so to save me some money, and shipped almost every piece seperate so I am having to run to the store nightly to pick up items that have come in, but noone is ever there to assist me and I spend a good half hour waiting for an associate to come help me.

Tonight, I go over, with my 7 year old. Find a note in the site-to-store area telling me to to go crafts for assistance, which I go to, only to find a note saying to go to electronics for assistance. I head there, the electronics worker pages someone to crafts, which is what the note said to do. My boy and me head to crafts to wait for someone, 10 minutes later, noone is there so we head over to the site to store section, hoping someone is there.
There is another customer there, waiting with her kids. She gets her item pulled from out back but noone back there is able to check her out so you guessed it, they page someone. Fast forward 20 more minutes. Finally, it is my turn! Yay!
I am picking up 4 items, I thought. One big box, my sons carseat, and one little box which I assume has 3 items in it. The lady opens it up and tells me there are only 2 items in the box, not a big deal, I guess only 2 were in. I wait for them to finish up and I leave. Get home and the slip says that I picked up 4 items, not 3. Clearly, I only picked up 3 items, the fourth, a movie, was not in the box. So I am peeved. I call Wal-mart and of course noone knows what to do about it and the last thing I want is to go over there tomorrow and have to sit around with the baby for an hour while they figure it out so I am thinking if I call and alert them, than I can just run in tomorrow and pick up the missing item, the movie, or they can tack it on to the rest of my order when it comes in.
After 3 transfers on the phone, and one hang-up, numerous minutes, they know nothing. They are suppose to be calling me back soon or tomorrow. Great. Why can't anything be easy?

Why

Why must toy companies put so many zip ties and elastic bands, etc. around everything they sell?
I swear it takes me longer to open the darn toy at home than it does to wander through Wally, waiting on the kids to pick out said toy, stand in the endless long line to cash out, and then drive home?
Are Wal-mart or the toy companies so worried that I am going to steal this big rectangle box of toy? Am I going to somehow be able to stick it up under my shirt and pretend I am about to birth a giant square?

Makes me want to start making my own toys...do the Amish do that? Wonder if they will gimme a lesson.

Breastfeeding

Okay all you non breastfeeding people, tell me what is so wrong with breastfeeding past a certain age?
I read that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends breastfeeding for the first year of life. That means until your child turns 1 whole year old. Not one week, nor one month, a whole fiscal year!
I get stares at the mall, which yes, I have braved to whip my white boobie out and feed my child when he was hungry, oh, the humanity! I have had a few negative comments and honestly, I am so flabberghasted by them that by the time I gather my thoughts and think of something to say back, that person has already walked off.

What gets me the most is that all these comments come from women, mothers themselves. Aren't we all suppose to be supporting each other here? Is my breastfeeding my healthy/content son, making you feel guilty that you didn't do this with your own child, so you fire back at me out of spite?

I had never planned on breastfeeding past 6 months but life happens. My son has become insanely addicted to the boob and nursing and I don't have the heart to take away the sole thing that gives him comfort. Eventually I will have to as he cannot nurse forever but shouldn't it be on me and my sons terms and timeline, not because people find it to be unsavory?

Today has been a day already! You know the kind of day I mean. You oversleep and when you do manage to pry your eyes open, you have a little one within 2 inches of your face saying they wet to bed. :(
You smell something burning and hear another one of your children yell to you, asking why the toaster is smoking?!
You drag yourself out of bed, ready for a bright wonderous day.
I guess it can not get too much worse, right?